Polyamorous?

When I was 17 I got my first real boyfriend. We were together just short of 2 years.

Now this bit is going to sound cliche but I always felt like something was missing. It wasn’t until I read a book that my amazon (of all things) suggested that I kinda figured out what I was missing. Another person.

I identify as a bisexual. So I knew I liked girls and I knew I liked boys. That bit was easy but the bit where I was told I had to choose sent me into a tailspin. I had always felt that I have been told that I somehow have to choose which side I end up with. At that point, I didn’t know what Polyamory was. Still kinda clueless as to what others might think it means. As it has come to my attention that it means different things to different people.

Anyway, how could I choose? Each side brought something different to the relationship. How can I move forward with the fact that everyone around me is in single monogamous relationships and I have no one to speak to about what I’m feeling? I know that I am Polyamorous but the question is how do I move forward with this? How do I become comfortable enough to tell my future SO? Will they understand? Will they have a completely different view of what Polyamory is?

I want to believe that somehow if I open up and tell at least someone my problems even if it is my computer that at least it’s out there. I know for a fact that I am not the only one having these thoughts.

Guess we all have to take a leap at some point. This is me stepping up to the ledge I guess.