Ok, let’s see if I got this right.

OK, so where to start. Polyamorous is an umbrella term and all the terms underneath cover all the different types of Poly relationships you get. This is where I found it got really confusing.

OK, so imagine there is a person let’s name them J. Now J is in love with both A and K. Now this first bit isn’t Polyamory.

In the world I grew up in J would have to pick between A and K. J picks A and that would be the end of it. Until that is J decides to see K on the side. This is CHEATING! This means seeing K on the side without A knowing. Whereas an OPEN RELATIONSHIP is where both A and J consent to seeing other people outside their relationship. So J can see K and be content to know that A is ok with it.

OK, so the next type on from that is POLYGAMY which is not to be confused with POLYAMORY (which I’ll come to later). POLYGAMY is when J decides to marry both A and K. Now this isn’t legally recognised in many countries but their religion supports it.

Now this is where I get somewhat lost. So, POLYFIDELITY is when J, A and K are all in a closed relationship together. None of them have other partners and they all love each other. So A is with K, K is with J and J is with A. Making sense so far? Good ok moving on.

So the next bit is all about Polyamory. So you have HIERARCHICAL POLYAMORY which is where you have one main relationship (So J and A) and then they both have more little relationships off to the side. (So J and K and A and F or not) but both main relationship participants know that they come first. EGALITARIAN POLYAMORY is where J has equal relationships with both A and K but A and K don’t have a relationship. SOLO POLYAMORY is when they are both J’s partners but J doesn’t want to move in with or marry any of them.

This last one I don’t know who came up with the name but it makes me giggle. RELATIONSHIP ANARCHY this is when J just likes all of their friends more or less and interacts with everyone in the individual way that feels right for both of us and nobody really cares what you’re labelled as long as your having fun doing it.

OK, so that seems right not sure if it is but hey ho what the worst that can happen and if I’m being totally honest polyfidelity and egalitarian polyamory sound like what I’m hoping to acheive. If I have anything wrong let me know. I’d hate to be offending anyone. Also, tell me if I’ve missed any.

Polyamorous?

When I was 17 I got my first real boyfriend. We were together just short of 2 years.

Now this bit is going to sound cliche but I always felt like something was missing. It wasn’t until I read a book that my amazon (of all things) suggested that I kinda figured out what I was missing. Another person.

I identify as a bisexual. So I knew I liked girls and I knew I liked boys. That bit was easy but the bit where I was told I had to choose sent me into a tailspin. I had always felt that I have been told that I somehow have to choose which side I end up with. At that point, I didn’t know what Polyamory was. Still kinda clueless as to what others might think it means. As it has come to my attention that it means different things to different people.

Anyway, how could I choose? Each side brought something different to the relationship. How can I move forward with the fact that everyone around me is in single monogamous relationships and I have no one to speak to about what I’m feeling? I know that I am Polyamorous but the question is how do I move forward with this? How do I become comfortable enough to tell my future SO? Will they understand? Will they have a completely different view of what Polyamory is?

I want to believe that somehow if I open up and tell at least someone my problems even if it is my computer that at least it’s out there. I know for a fact that I am not the only one having these thoughts.

Guess we all have to take a leap at some point. This is me stepping up to the ledge I guess.